Broken

I'm feeling more and more hopeless and broken... I just don't work anymore - in every way.  I don't have a job, I can't find a job, I don't want to go anywhere or do anything and everything feels like it is being ripped from underneath me.  I physically and mentally hurt...  My house is going to be taken away... I know my husband doesn't like this house or Virginia but I love this house despite the problems.. especially around Christmas - it is beautiful.. the tree, the lights the fireplace... I can't help but wonder where I will be next year and where I will be celebrating Christmas.  My husband keeps looking at Phoenix, which is fine I guess but no snow, no cool chill in the air that I love so much... It snowed tonight and I stood outside and let it fall on my face.. I keep feeling like my life is over and I'm so scared of the so much I don't know...  What now?  I see nothing in the future and don't even want to dream of things because everything feels impossible instead of possible... Speaking of which, the phrase "All things are possible".. yeah true but what nobody ever says is that also includes the bad things.. so yes, all things are possible..  I'm feeling some of the crappy ones right now.  Yes, things can always be worse but right now I don't care... they are bad enough without that piece of wisdom... I'm not tempting fate.. I just want things to get better and I feel so broken and hopeless...  Phoenix?  I guess, don't think I'd like it but I'm wrong about everything I think I know about myself - I just don't know anything...  Aren't you supposed to get wiser with age... I feel like I'm regressing.. I want to be put back together again.. I don't want to be broken any longer..